Let me just clear up a few apparent misconceptions

And this is the last time that I will address these issues:

• You don't know the whole story. You only know the bits I choose to communicate. Don't assume you know more and don't read your own choices into mine.
• Regarding comments: I have the option of publishing or rejecting comments. To date, I have chosen to publish all comments (except the damn spam) in the interest of freedom of speech. I allow anonymous comments not so strangers can feel free to slag me off, although if that's what gets your rocks off, good for you, but so people I know can comment without having to register with Blogger. But if you are going to leave anonymous comments in the future, at least give yourself some kind of name or I will not publish them.
• If you honestly think that anything anyone says here will change what I'm going to do, you are sadly mistaken. I am an adult and, as such, I will continue to make adult choices. If you don't like my choices, that's your problem, not mine.
• My current situation has nothing to do with self-esteem. Once again, if you think this is the case, you are mistaken. Thanks for your concern, however strangely expressed, but my self-esteem is just fine.
• Give up on being judgmental. Judge not lest ye be judged. While I don't condone my actions at present, I have not judged others in the same situation when they have come to me in friendship.

In short, we only get to live this life once, and I'm going to live mine the way I see fit, and nothing anyone else says is going to change that. I'd suggest sitting back and enjoying the ride, whether you agree with the way I live it or not.