What I didn't want
I didn't want you to go, even though I said I did. I came back downstairs but you were already gone.
I didn't want to look forward to seeing you, but I do.
I didn't want to spend more time with you, but I realized I did want to.
I didn't want a spare hour or two here or there, but that's all you have to offer.
I didn't want someone who has to leave so soon, but that's what I got.
I didn't want this, but I do. And now I don't know what to do.
I didn't want to compromise what I want.
posted by Y at 5:43 PM
7 Comments:
Good luck gorgeous. Don't let it get you down. Enjoy it while you do, and stop it when you don't. Hug,
Bella
Crap.
Sorry to see this and I hope things work out however is best for you and your heart.
Kath
It's all so complicated, isn't it? Take care of yourself - you deserve to have all someone be able to give you all the things you want.
Sorry to hear it, but I'm with Karen (and your last sentence), you shouldn't need to compromise on all those things you list. Take care!
I am not a blogger myself. I came across this blog and have followed it for a while.
It is odd that the previous commenters appear to not recognize the subject of this post was a married man. Married.
I do not want to comment on the morality of sleeping with a married person (because people have opposing views on the idea), but to suggest things like complications, surprises and not letting it get one down seem, based on the circumstances Y has thoughtfully chosen for herself, weird. The complications, surprises and frustrations would not exist (at least not to this degree) if all involved parties were available.
Hopefully things work out in the long run.
A faithful reader,
N
N, welcome! Actually, I know a fair few of my commenters in real life, and they do know that Chepe is married. But clearly you are right, the frustrations and complications would not be present, at least not to this extent, if he weren't. But this is the situation, the one I have chosen, and it's up to me to decide if I can compromise what I want for now or not.
I was honestly just venting when I wrote this post, had just had a glass of wine after sending him home, so it's pretty raw. Things are a bit more solidified in my mind now, but I'm not quite ready to reveal what I've decided just yet. I thought it might be nice to actually reveal it to Chepe first.
Thanks for reading my tripe. I hope it is occasionally entertaining. I still can't believe people I don't actually know do read it at all.
Cheers, I'm off for my last cancer stick of the night and off to bed for the early rise. Again.
N, I was fully aware the subject of the post is a married man.
But I don't have an issue with Y choosing to have arelationship with a married man since she is an adult and can make her own choices in life. I hope only that she takes care of herself, and makes decisions based on what is best for her and what SHE wants. And I'm not someone who knows Y in real life, I tripped across this blog on my own, sounds like the way you got here, 'cuz I'm not a blogger either.
And to Y,
best wishes on your decision.
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