Oops! I did it again!
No, I didn't show my cooch or shave my head or anything like that. I just managed to lose a job totally through no fault of my own.
Welcome to working as a temp for the US govt. Every time you try to do the things you were hired to do, you are hamstrung by govt regulations. When you advise the client on how things should be done, they tell you that they have made other strategic and policy decisions and it's going to be done THIS way.
So you think outside the box and you formulate appropriate control plans for THIS way and you implement them.
Meanwhile, budget meetings are going on that you have no knowledge of, but you're being assured that you're most likely to be taken on as a term contract employee = benefits. Huge.
So you work harder, even when outside counsel brings in much needed contract attorneys that you desperately needed and another paralegal.
And then you find out that your contract is terminated after you've trained everyone and brought them up to speed on complicated litigation.
At this point, you realize that you've trained your cheaper replacement and didn't even know it and life as you know it sucks.
Yeah, that would be me 4 weeks ago. With no savings in the bank. None. Check to check.
So I'm back out there working as a temp again but at a lower rate. I need more money and benefits. I need a real job. I CRAVE a real job. It's really interesting how much of yourself gets tied up in your job, and when it's gone, you kind of wonder, what about me? Where does that leave me?
I know I will come out of this, I know I will end up in an even better job just as I always do, but the in between is so soul-destroying. I just want to curl up in my bed and do nothing right now, but I can't. The cats need food, after all, and I'd rather they not eat my toes. I need them for balance.
PS - does anybody read this crap anymore? I don't blame you if you don't. I meant it as a place to put my thoughts and dreams, and silly ass notions. I'm not quite sure what it's turned into, but I do know that things tend to take on a life of their own, mostly guided by their audience. So, audience, if you have anything to say, please, do. I welcome it, even if you hate my tripe.
posted by Y at 12:39 AM
8 Comments:
Yes! I'm still reading :) (I often wonder the same thing about my own blog - or rather, why anyone would still be reading my predictable rants.)
And I couldn't agree with you more. It really IS soul-destroying isn't it? Just trying to stay convinced that yes, in the end, everything will work out is so exhausting. I soooo much need it to stop... So well, I understand. And I'm sure that we'll both get there too, in the end.
I still check in occasionally.
But zero savings?
It is difficult to listen to someone bemoan their finacial state while they spend frivolously. Many prior entries detail jewelry, household product, handbag and makeup buys.
Do you make the connection between the past and the present, perhaps the future? You will not live your dreams at this rate.
Good luck turning things around.
Still reading...
G, do I know you?
Yes, I am aware of my financial irresponsibility. I'm working on it. it's a work in progress. One day I might actually grow up and get a savings account.
This is what happens to many people when they are raised as trust fund brats.
you'll manage, you always do, it's the way things go, I have done that ride many times over and even if it sucks to hear it it's what happens in the end, you stick it out. And when you're back on your feet, you treat yourself! ;-)
I still check in sometimes, though I've only recently returned to blogging myself.
Good luck with it all.
Hi J - I hope things start looking up. Any news on the job front?
No.
Yours is one of many blogs I keep up with, though I do not have my own.
I just do not like to see people I 'know' go through tough times.
Don't take my thoughts badly.
G, no worries. Thanks for the ocncern.
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