Another Down Home Country Christmas

So, it happened and I survived.

Went home last Saturday, a bit later than we thought, but still hours before the annual dinner. Yes, I had to pick up a little Jack (always a friend) to imbibe before I got there. The scariest thing was having to go to the hometown Walmart for last minute gifts. I made this doable by staring at everyone looking at me like I didn't belong. Good fun.

The Cuz was intelligent like that and left her Louis Vuitton purse in our shopping cart. She only realized it when we got to auntiemomma's house. My God, you would have thought she lost a boob or something, she was so crazed. Eventually, she called her cell phon that was in her purse and found that it was AT THE POLICE STATION. They dropped it off 15 minutes later. Gotta love small towns.

Christmas Eve is traditionally our big eating night. And for me, it sucked. The Cuz thought it would be funny to tell auntiemomma that I was on the wagon. So when I got there, she asked me if it would "set me off" if they drank wine. I had no idea what was going on at the time, so I said it was fine, I'm working on moderation, and would probably have a glass myself. This resulted in me getting one of the tiny glasses and my aunt watching me with the eagle eye. Thus, I couldn't even get that nice buzz where I don't care that my cuz Mike is an asshole. I ended up going to "bed" at 10 pm just to not deal with him. (this is the cuz that NO ONE likes.)

Christmas morning was lovely. Breakfast of eggs over easy, biscuits :(american kind), and salty country ham. Then we opened presents. I got the digital camera that I asked for, and apple butter and lots of bath stuff. Of course, because it was me, the cd with the software was missing. I thought I had outgrown it, but I'm still the kid who gets toys without batteries. Thank god for RadioShack, who is sending me the user's manual and cd software for free, no questions asked. Look for pics in the near future,when I figure it all out.

Then the real fun began.

We drove up over the mountain into deepest, darkest West Virginia where the Cuz's mom lives now. And we got our drink on, courtesy of homemade moonshine. Once the auntiemomma and unclepop left, we got our drink on. And it was a hella good time, in spite of the rain.

(what's up with rain in Xmas? I've lived here 35 years now and have NEVER seen that true White Christmas, where it snows overnight and you wake to whiteness)

It's funny what comes out over Xmas when people are drunk. The hated cuz Mike told me that he sees me as a little sister because he saw my dad as a father fiture. Weird shit. And wholly unwelcome. He's gross. For so many reasons I won't even go into here. Maybe later.

The day after, we woke up late. Lounged around, then went to see the Cuz's dad and stepmom. First thing she did was make us a drink. I think I love her. Chatted with them for a couple hours, which was fun. I hadn't seen the Cuz's dad in about 20 years, so that was fun. They didn 't know what to get the Cuz, so they gave her a bunch of food, including DEER STEAK.

I'm in heaven.

And that's a down home country Christmas.