Screw New Year's

I don't want a new year, I want a new life! However, it has come to my attention that we don't get those handed out to us (kind of like God wouldn't let me trade my trust fund in for my dad), so I suppose I'll have to do what any normal adult would do: whine a lot about mine. Either that or go out and make a new one. Actually, that seems like the better option in the long run, but I'm so damned lazy that, short-term, I'd really rather just bitch and moan.

Bitch. Moan.

Yeah, so that's that. I guess it's time to do the adult thing now, the good one. And to that end I actually kind of made resolutions this year. I didn't exactly start these on January 1; hell, I haven't even started a few of them yet. They're kind of all entertwined, so if I ramble, well, I ramble. Deal with it. Here they are, in case you care:

• I stopped smoking yesterday. This is probably the most important of them all. I don't like it anymore, I don't really enjoy it anymore. The sitting and relaxing, sure, I still like that, but not the taste or the smell or the act of it. It takes up between $4-5 a day, which is a lot of money in a year. The apartment smelt of stale smoke, and it got on my clothes and everything. Everything will now have to be washed again or dry-cleaned. Hopefully I can do something fun with that saved money, like get my TEFL certificate.
• No more drinking during the week. See, the thing about having some wine or beer or a mixed drink is it makes me want a smoke. So I have to cut this out, too, at least during the week. This also has the added benefits of saving me money, and along with the no smoking, improving my skin and whitening my teeth and helping me lose weight. Plus less garbage to take out. Because garbage is just annoying, but taking it out is even more annoying.
• Healthy eating, meaning no more white crap for a while. Meats, vegs, some fruits, some WHOLE grains, lots of water and no more sodas! No, not even diet. Well, maybe once a week or something, but certainly not the 5-6 I was going through in a day. Have you any idea how hard this is to do when you live with someone who eats more than any normal being should and gains no weight? Fucking annoying, that is!
• Must get moving. Need to bring my stairmaster thingie and hand weights up from the car. Must start doing something daily. This one is a work in progress, really. We'll (you know, me, myself and I) work on this one over the weekend when we
• Get the new apartment sorted finally. Too many boxes are piled up in the living room to set it up the way I want. Most of them are empty, but not all (I really need bookshelves, please help!). I also, as mentioned above, need to wash all my clothes to get the smoke stank out of them and get them organized so I can wear something more than the same 4 pairs of trousers and 6 assorted tops.
• Start volunteering. I really need to get that application filled out and get references. This is something I really, really want to do. No, don't get me wrong, don't worry, I haven't gone all altruistic on you. I'm really doing it for quite selfish reasons. I want to play with more animals. I'd like to hang out at the Zoo. If I decide to go in the direction of trying to work in zoos, this will give me the tiniest little sliver of a foot in the door - maybe like a pinky toe or something. Plus, they have miniature donkeys. C'mon, who could pass that up? They and the cows will more than make up for the ill-tempered pygmy goats and out of control children. I hope.
• Get my TEFL certificate so that I have another way to get the hell out of this country and work somewhere else.
• Get a real, full-time, permanent job. The kind with paid vacation, paid sick leave, paid personal days, medical insurance, retirement benefits, etc., etc. It's time. I've become too complacent.
• Sort out at least some of my financial mess. That's kind of where all that saving and real job stuff comes in.
• Take better care of myself. Pamper myself every now and then with manicures and pedicures. Maybe a facial or two. Whiten my teeth (not so much that I blind anyone, though!). Eat well, feel good about myself.
• Stop beating myself up about the past.
• Go to the appropriate doctors (eye exam on Monday, glasses and contacts first up on the list) and get my medical problems under control.
• Go out with friends and be social again. Hell, I might even start dating again, although if someone can remind me what that entails, I'd be eternally grateful.

In short, try to be normal again instead of a depressed, asexual hermit.

Now that I look at that list, it seems like an awful lot. The sad thing is, these are the things that normal people do, the things on this list. Where do you people find the time?