Aliens think I'm special

Okay, as mentioned earlier, because my regular timefiller is on the fritz today (it's up now, but incredibly slow), you get a megadose of Y! Oooooh, you lucky things. You just don't know how truly blessed you are! Let me tell you one reason that I know I'm extra special.

Aliens took my right ovary for my eggs so they could start a master race from my DNA. Ah, I hear you sniggering unbelievingly, but it's true!

See, I have a condition known as PCOS, or polycystic ovarian syndrome. Basically, this means, among other things, that I often have multiple cysts on my ovaries. Sometimes these can become quite large and cause great pain, not to mention that if they are of a certain type and rupture, one could bleed to death, although that is very extreme. Anyway, a few years ago, I ended up in the emergency room for the 2nd time in 3 months with pain on my right side, bent over, moaning and shaking in pain. Needless to say, this is not a good thing. After I was mercifully given that gift from the gods known as intravenous narcotic painkiller (demerol, in this case), a sonogram indicated a large cyst on my right ovary that my doctor (after a second sonogram confirmed) determined needed to be removed. Unfortunately, at the time I was in the middle of planning my move from San Diego back to the DC area and had to put the surgery off until my health insurance here kicked in. Of course, then I had to go through all the hoops all over again, find another doctor, get a NEW sonogram (3rd in 3 months now) AND an MRI (and I'm claustrophobic), and then schedule a surgery date.

So I finally get into surgery, they slice me open, take out my girlie innards and look 'em over and find something entirely different. Not only don't I have a cyst on my right ovary but, wait for this . . . I HAVE NO RIGHT OVARY! The doc asked me after the surgery if I'd ever had surgery before, which was silly because he would have seen any scarring, and told me that it looked as if it had been surgically removed!

Now this is really strange for numerous reasons. First, as far back as 1992, when I went to the emergency room for the first time with an ovarian cyst (confirmed the next day by internal sonogram at the doc's office), there has been documentation of an ovary on my right side. Second, whenever I'm ovulating, I only ever feel the twinge on my right hand side. Third, 4 sonograms (3 external and 1 internal) in 3 months AND an MRI provide evidence that there was a right ovary there with a cyst on it.

Seriously, peeps, I couldn't make this shit up, I don't have the creativity for it.

So that's how I know I'm special. Aliens came down and took my right ovary sometime between late April and the end of June 2003. I think when they finally find extraterrestrial life, it will look suspiciously similar to me. I should probably just apologize to the extraterrestrials now.