Innocence lost

A very dear internet acquaintance posted recently about her experience breastfeeding her newborn son. While the experience seemed quite lovely overall, one thing did stick out. Quite literally. She realized while looking down (lovingly, I'm sure) at her son feeding that she had a white hair growing out of her nipple. What amused me was that she wasn't shocked at the fact that there was a hair there, just that it was white and this made her feel old.

Sadly, I have to report that this morning, while towelling off after my morning shower, I happened to look at my nipples and I was shocked to find that I, too, have a hair growing out of each nipple.

Look, I know weird things happen to our bodies as we get older. I've dealt with weight gain and loss (and gain and loss and gain), stretch marks, surgery scars, eye lens replacement due to cataracts, bifocal vision, increased growth of hair on my legs and bikini area, the occasional hair on my chin, out of a mole, and one on my upper lip, hair in my nose, and most recently back strain, bursitis in my hip, and the onset of rheumatoid arthritis in my hands.

But I have to say, I think I've really gone over the edge with the nipple hairs. I do not want anybody flossing there!

Can't I just turn back time a little? Please? Just 5 years, that's all. It's really not too much to ask, is it?