Me, irritating? Surely you jest!

Lately, with the help of discussions with a few friends who have also given up smoking, I have realized something. I think I irritate them now.

See, it seems like it has been/is really difficult for them to stop. It hasn't been for me. They crave it, either mentally or physically. I don't. It has nothing to do with how long or how many we smoked, or how long ago we quit. I probably smoked more than some, longer than others, but my quitting experience has been so completely different than theirs, and it makes me feel bad.

It's like once again I'm not quite cool enough to join the club, only this time it's because it's been too easy for me. I don't have any stories of nicotine cravings, shakes, hacking up black phlegm for months. I don't have dreams of taking that forbidden puff. I'm the one in the corner being disgusted by the smell of smoke that the others sniff longingly, disgusted so much that I now refuse to put my coat in the closet at work.

I know it irritates them; it has to. It would irritate the hell out of me, just like it irritates me that men can just think about losing weight and drop 20 lbs. overnight.

Ah, but there's the rub.

I've been eating like a Survivor refugee, especially chocolate and any other sweets. I don't remember ever craving sweets in my life, but I sure do now. Ice cream, brownies, Godiva chocolates, candy bars, hell, any chocolate will do. And of course Girl Scout cookie time is now and I got 5 boxes, 3.5 of which are left. I'm just proud of myself that I got through today without eating any cookies. Will I eat ice cream later? Probably.

Maybe it's what people say about getting your sense of taste back. Maybe it's really true. I dunno. I cooked for the first time the other night using shallots and, my God, they were so wonderful! How many times does one wax poetic about shallots, for fuck's sake?

So if you read this and you're a quitter and having a rough time of it, and get annoyed with me because I think it's so easy, there's your revenge.

Now I'm going to get a bowl of butter pecan ice cream. Maybe just a small one.