Please send muscle relaxers

Sorry, kids, my lower back is killing me to the point that I can't stand up straight or walk without great pain and difficulty. Consequently I'm going home to self-medicate with codeine because all the ibuprofen I've taken ain't doin' a fucking thing.

Hopefully I'll be back tomorrow, which is, coincidentally, when my new laptop will be delivered to work. Finally.

Arrivederci.