It's called attitude an' shit, yo!

A long, long time ago, way back in my 'tween years, I read a seemingly innocuous book. If you're female, you probably read one just like it, too. You know the kind: gangly ugly duckling teenage girl suddenly becomes the most popular girl in school, head cheerleader and Prom Queen. How did she do it? She transformed herself from the shy ugly duckling by acting, pretending that she was outgoing and confident. Of course, she did other things, too, like wear different clothes and cut her hair, wear makeup, etc. But the premise was that even if she had done those things, they alone would not have been enough. It was the attitude.

This book captured my attention and filled my head with possibility and hope. See, I was that gangly ugly duckling 'tween girl in school. I was too skinny, my hair was long and straight with no discernable style. I wore super thick glasses. I had braces. I got the best grades, and (this is by far the worst sin I committed) I was proud of those grades. But I never wanted to be that girl. Nobody ever does, do they? I wanted to be the popular girl. Or at least not the one that got made fun of anymore.

So I did what any smart cookie who's a little over the edge would do: I performed a little experiment. I wanted to see if this would actually work in real life, or if it was just another bad teen girl book waiting to become an after school special. I cut my hair. I got contacts. I started wearing makeup and fashionable clothes. (oh, my aunt loved it, she had so much fun teaching me how to shop!) And I got attitude. I acted. I pretended to be confident. I pretended to be happy. I made myself smile at people who had previously done nothing but intimidate me. I forced myself to talk to the popular people beyond just letting them copy my geometry proofs.

And guess what. By the end of that year, my experiment was a success. I was part of the "in" crowd. I was popular. I learned a life lesson.

Attitude works.

This is something I've carried with me ever since then. When I've gotten depressed, I've pretended to be happy, and I end up being happy. When I feel fat and bloated, I pretend I'm taller and slimmer than I am, and I end up feeling great and meeting tons of guys. When I'm unsure of myself or scared, I pretend that I'm confident and know exactly what I'm doing, and it works out.

But it's something I forgot for a long time and only really regained with the dawning of the new year. I made my list of things I want to achieve and started working on some of them. However, I was only really going at it half-assed until my friend A recommended me for this new job I am currently revelling in. It wasn't really until I decided that I was going to go for it and take this job, no matter what, that I found attitude again.

Yeah, I prepared for the interview like I've never prepared for any other interview. (Okay, I really never have prepared for any other interview, but that's beside the point here. Stay with me!) But I decided in my mind that I was getting this job. I walked in and interviewed with 7 different people for over 2 hours, and I acted like I was interviewing them. I owned that interview, yo!

And I decided to quit smoking. Since the day I quit, I've had one cigarette at a party, and a few more out one night with A. I don't want them in the morning with my coffee now. I don't want one when I get home. I don't want them at all. Not even with my wine. Come to think of it, I don't even want that anymore, either. Not like I did. I just decided. And that was that.

And that taking care of myself stuff. And taking control of my life stuff. I did it. I am doing it. I feel so much more confident about myself, both emotionally and physically. People actually notice me again when I strut by.

All because I DECIDED.

Your mind is a really incredible, phenomenal thing. It's really amazing just what you can do when you decide to do it.

And if you read this and you think I'm talking to you with that last part, then there's something that you want to do. So don't just go try to do it. DECIDE to do it.

It's called attitude. Go cop one and see what you can do.