The Incredible Expanding Ass

Have you ever walked down the street and felt your ass actually expanding? No? Just me, then? Damn. Because that's what it felt like last night on the way home. There it was, the Incredible Expanding Ass had apparently attached itself to me and was blowing up like a balloon ass in a cartoon while I was walking from the Metro to the grocery store.

So, with a bit less than 8 weeks to go until my vacation, the game is on! This game is called, How to Melt the Incredible Expanding Ass. Hopefully it will be helped by some meds that my doc gave me for my completely out of whack hormones. And no more candy, no more sweets, no more White Food. Sauces, out. Because this is just fucking ridiculous. This is what happens when you indulge yourself constantly. All of those "just one piece of candy/cake/pie/bread", well, it all goes on the Incredible Expanding Ass. Which has to go. Because I can't afford new clothes.

But if I do buy new clothes, it's a damn good thing they don't charge by the yard.

PS - thanks for the kind comments about Shelby. I know it was the right and only thing to do, but that doesn't make it any easier. The right thing is often the hardest thing to do. On the other hand, it gave me the right to make people I don't like feel bad. "Oh, Y, how was your weekend?" "Well, Dumbass, I had to have my cat killed, so it kind of sucked ass." "Wow, Y, I'm so sorry" as they slink off. I am truly evil.

PPS - I just counted and I used "ass" 8 times in this post. Nine times now. Can't wait for the google hits on that one. Tee hee.