Why, Tony, Why?

Tony, you know I think you're one of the best things to come around since sliced bread. You're hip in that distinctly off-beat, geeky way, especially because you really don't give a fuck what anyone thinks, except that the food tastes great and there's plenty of booze and no laws against smoking. Sure, you're sending yourself to an early grave with all the drugs and OTT restaurant scene living in the 80s, and the drinking and smoking and eating anything you want and travelling all over the place and butting heads with, oh, just about everybody.

But did you really have to wear those JEANS SHORTS in Puerto Rico????
Some things are dealbreakers. The earring, I can take. I don't like it, but I can put up with it. But jeans shorts? Those are dealbreakers, my friend.

Yet another crush falls beneath the weight of style expectations. *sigh*