Peeks head out to check for life

Dunno if anyone's still around, but I'm still here alive and kicking. Doing some occasional work for cash, looking for a "real" job with benefits and all.

Nothing much of interest to say today, just wanted to check in now that I've got internet at home again touch base. And alert those with RSS feeds that I'm here again. Cheers!

Sign of the times?

Good lord, what's up with all the shootings these days? Is this a sign of the times? I know that, historically, there was an increased rate of suicide during the Great Depression, but this is ridiculous. Shooting yourself is bad enough; taking out numerous other innocent people is just beyond my capacity to understand. I truly just don't understand it.


And I hope I never do.

Am I the only one

that was flipping back and forth between "You've Got Mail" and Monday Night Football last night? Proof positive that I am, indeed, quite odd.

I also give myself manicures and pedicures while drinking wine and watching NFL football all day Sunday, including all the pre-game and post-game shows.

Sometimes I despair for my sanity. I seem not only to go to extremes, but to combine extremes. If only, just once, they would come together in a normal, happy medium.

But then I guess I wouldn't be me. Hrmpf.

Best laid plans

Things sometimes have a very odd way of turning out. In my case, things almost always turn out quite differently, and more crappily (is that even a word? It is now!), than I thought they would. Or at least they did until the end of 2007.

I can’t say everything that’s going on in my life right now, but my plan to step back from “real” life for the rest of 2007 certainly has paid off, and in spades. One of my regulars at the bar turned out to be the director of human resources for a very large union, and kept pestering me to get my resume to her. So finally, I did, and went in for their silly “office skills” testing on January 2. Hey, I said I was going back to the real world in the new year, so I figured why wait, right? The testing was really just a formality; I interviewed with my boss the following Monday (the 7th), was offered the job on the spot, and started on the Wednesday (the 9th). Yep, you read that right: one week exactly to the day from my first step through the doors.

Now get this: not only is this a “real” job, but it’s pretty much perfect. My boss is only in the office about 1-2 days out of the month, so there’s no micromanaging. I start with 3 weeks’ vacation and 3 weeks’ sick leave, along with 13 paid holidays. I have to travel a minimum of 4 times a year for hearings, and it could be as much as 10-14 days a month as my boss decides how to expand the role. And we don’t travel cheap. Benefits start on Day One, pension is fully funded by the employer, and we have a great, cheap cafeteria. Even better, my daily commute is 30 minutes from door to door! I’m actually kicking myself for lucking into this job. It’s not taxing by any stretch of the imagination (which is, in fact, my only worry long-term), but I reckon I can put up with anything at this point.

Still, for once in my life, my plan worked out. Amazing, huh?

In other news, yes, there is a man on the horizon, but I need to disengage myself from my current situation before anything can really happen there. Yes, I am a trollop, you needn’t tell me that, but at least the new one’s not married! ;p I dearly love my current man, but I see how different we are, how different our backgrounds are, and I just don’t see us together long-term. Whereas the other (we’ll call him NC Man for now) has a very similar upbringing to mine and we really speak a common language, a kind of southern shorthand, if you will. We enjoy more of the same things, have more of the same expectations, and I can more see the two of us together long-term than the current man. Gah, what a predicament I’ve gotten myself into. I never intended it, but then again I did let it happen. Ah, well, I’m sure things will work out one way or the other, I just need to give it another month or so until I’m truly back on my feet and have my own living space again. And then, of course, I’ll be looking for a new furry friend to share my life. You didn’t really think I’d go without a pet, did you?

So that’s about it for today. I’ll try (once again) to be a bit more regular in my posting now that I have the time.

2007

Well, 2007 has been a very educational year for me. I've dropped out of "real" life, supported myself in a series of dead end restaurant and bar jobs, lost pretty much everything that meant anything to me, including my beloved Buca, but in the end, it has been an epiphany I've learned what I want from life, what makes me happy, what makes me unhappy, what I can deal with and what I can't, and where I want my life to go. Now I just have to follow my plan to get there.


There's something about losing it all that is freeing. A certain sense of freedom comes over you, along with a heavy cloak of what you think you should be doing. The trick is to throw off that cloak and follow your heart, wherever it may lead. I was always afraid to do that before, before everything was ripped away and I had nothing left to lose.

Do I love my life now? No. But I can see now how I could, and I can see how I can get there, and I can plan for that.

2008, here I come!

Starting Over

Right, so I said I'd be back when I had dealt with real life. Well, here I am! I don't quite have everything figured out yet, but am making substantial progress and moving forward on all fronts. New job (check), new place to live (hopefully check next week to move Sept. 1), new men . . . okay, not so much on that one.

Presently I am staying with a friend who was kind enough to allow me to bring Buca along with me. I'm getting a bit claustrophobic here, to be honest, as it's only a studio, even if quite a large one, and friend appears to have romantic aspirations even though he's being a complete gentleman. It's a very quick commute to my new job which is as a server at a high end Mediterranean/Turkish/Lebanese restaurant.

I know, I know, many will think I'm selling myself short by being "just a waitress." Well, fuck off. The truth is that I can bring home more in cash (mostly tax free) doing this than I ever did as a paralegal. And, to be honest, I'm burnt out on office work for right now. I need a break from the rat race. I need a supportive, fun work environment that taxes not only my mind (multitasking, upselling, generally being witty and charming) but also my body. And trust me, it taxes my body. This place is big and requires a lot of walking.

Unfortunately, I was unable to bring Chico with me, so in accordance with the contract I signed when I adopted him, I returned him to the humane society. After having to put Shelby down last year, it is quite possibly one of the hardest things I've ever done, but with time running short I didn't really have any other alternatives. But the biggest news re: Chico is that Chico wasn't a chico at all; Chico turned out to be a CHICA! During one of Chico's many escapes, she must have gotten some ghetto booty and ended up pregnant. I noticed Chico was eating a lot more and getting fat and being moodier than usual - I just thought it was adolescence. Until I saw the nipples coming out and sussed it. So Chico gave birth to 3 kittens on July 3rd; the first was in the birth canal too long and came out dead and nothing I could do would revive it. The other 2 were fine and healthy and Chico turned out to be a great mom. I understand from the lady at the humane society that they were fostered out until the kittens are old enough to be weaned, and then all will go up for adoption (after spaying/neutering). I'm confident all will find good new homes; Chico is still young enough to be kitteny playful and will be good for someone wanting a slightly older cat that's not yet an adult. Still, it scares me, so I'm tapping friends to go over and put in applications to adopt them.

Hmmm, what else? I lost about 40 lbs. during all the stress due to not eating for days on end. Not the healthiest way, I know, but damn does it look good! You wouldn't believe how differently people treat me now, both guys and girls. My black pants for the restaurant fall off me and I have to put my apron strings through the belt loop in the back to keep them up. I need new ones but can't afford them as am saving all money (just started making it after 4 days of training last week) for a new place to live.

Which leads me to that - have found a small brick 2 br rowhouse very close to work within my price range. The girl living there needs a new roommate as hers is moving on Sunday. She's okay with Buca, and the deposit is low, and the rent includes, well, everything including internet and cable. It's your quintessential traditional G'town rowhouse, tall, thin, exposed brick, fireplace. I love the pics, and the girl sounds easy-going and laidback. I'm going to see it Monday evening, so wish me luck that she picks me and Buca. I say that because it's a relatively recent DC phenomenon that finding a place to share has become a popularity contest, with some seekers going so far as to bribe the renters! I guess I can offer the 50% off at the corporation's restaurants and my cooking prowess. And Buca. Hopefully that's enough.

Now I just have to work my ass off for the next month to get the money for a) deposit, b) 1st month's rent, c) new bedroom furniture (left everything behind, long story, won't be told here), definitely to be from Ikea.

I guess that's it. I'm still interviewing occasionally for paralegal jobs that sound really appealing, but I'm quite happy to stay in the restaurant for a year.

Hope all is well with everyone out there. Cheers.

Not good

Things here not good, so blog will be suspended until I get some things figured out. I apologize for worrying anyone, but I can only concentrate on so many things at a time, and real life comes first.

But for an update, IRM is out, dating others, and planning to move soon and make a new start in life. Feels like it's time.

Hope everyone else is well and I'll be back, rest assured.

Y