Saturday, October 08, 2005


I have an umbrella that I love. Actually, I have two umbrellas, but this one is oh so cute, so compact that it fits in my tote bag quite easily, and the fabric is tons of faux visas from all over the world. I get tons of compliments on it whenever I use it, and we all know that that's why we really carry cute umbrellas.

Well, it's been raining here for two days now. That's not a bad thing; it hasn't rained here in over a month and we really do need the rain.

But standing in the driving rain last night for 30 minutes waiting for my (very late) bus was NOT really the time I wanted to find out that my beloved umbrella has somehow sprung a leak.

We Are Not Alone

Ever since we moved into our house/apartment, we've suspected that we have ghosts or spirits or whatever you want to call them. I don't know if you believe in them, but I do and always have. Maybe it's because of where I grew up; there's a lot of history there and tons of ghost stories and haunted places. So, anyway, we've suspected the presence of spirits. Why? you might ask. Well, there do appear to be cold spots in the house. Okay, maybe that could be due to the bad construction, drafts of air, random chills. But then there is the odd behavior of the cats. It has been postulated that animals and children are more aware of the presence of spirits because they lack the doubting nature of adults. Well, Buca and Shelby sometimes both react in strange ways at night. They'll whine and scratch at a wall. Or just sit there and stare at it. Or they'll be looking off into thin air but following something with their eyes and head and their tails will be twitching.

A few months ago, while at the library waiting for a computer to be free (this was before my awesome $200 used laptop purchase), I was browsing the shelves of books next to it and happened upon the section for the paranormal. I picked up a book by a woman who claims to help spirits "cross over". One of her assertions is that spirits will usually congregate in a dwelling that has been empty for some time. Well, the house we live in (we have the bottom apartment) was empty for at least 6 months before we moved in. Hmmmm.

So, anyway, I have occasionally felt the hair on the back of my neck and arms stand up and gotten that weird chill that you get when you sense something, always when I'm home alone, late at night. That, along with the cats' behaviors, has been the only signs that there might be something else in the house besides the Cuz, the cats, and me, although my Cuz and I have discussed it and we both agree that there's something else there.

That was, until last night.

(cue the Twilight Zone music)

Cuz told me, upon waking up today, that she saw a ghost in her room last night. She said she thought it was wearing blue jeans and a t-shirt but she couldn't tell whether it was a man or a woman, but thinks it was a man. It was standing kind of between the corner of her bed and her closet in the diagonal corner of the room. As she's telling me this, I'm getting that hair standing up, chill thing happening. I asked her what she did, and she said she threw a pillow at it, then closed her eyes. She said when she opened them, that it was gone.

This is the first time that one of them has revealed themselves to us, and I wonder why? Why that one, why to my cuz, and why now? I have thought sometimes that I saw something go by in my peripheral vision, but I have lots of floaters in my eyes and have always explained it away. But what if it wasn't just the floaters, but other ghosts? They don't seem to make noises, or to move things, or do anything else. Maybe they just want a place to hang out that's generally quiet, no barking dogs, no screaming kids, no loud music or arguments or yelling. I dunno, but it's really pretty fucking freaky.

I think when I go home this evening I'll ask the spirits if they would like to move upstairs. It's empty now, as the crapass loud yelling abusive neighbors have left (that's a whole new story). Well, they actually got evicted, but no matter, the place is empty and the ghosts could have it all to themselves.

It's really a shame that they didn't go up there and scare the bastards out in the first place. Then we'd like them a whole lot more.

Friday, October 07, 2005


You know, there just aren't enough posts about crap, so I thought I'd do my part in rectifying this horrible situation.

As a bit of background, I have been notoriously poo shy for years and years. Not in my own home, but anywhere else, I find it difficult to poo. Why, I don't know. Well, anyway, earlier this year, I got over it. Completely. I think it was because I had some sort of food poisoning while at work and was running back and forth every 30-60 minutes all afternoon one day. Since then I've had no problems with smelling up the ladies' here at work on a regular basis. (Yes, I'm posting from work, I'm an awful, evil person, stealing company time and internet service, whatever.)

So just a bit ago, fate got its revenge on me. I had to pee really bad, like doing the pee pee dance while scuttling down the hall crablike holding it in bad. I entered the restroom and Wham! it hit me. The stench, my god, it was awful. I had walked into the restroom while not one, not two, but it appeared that 3 women were all on the crapper doing their crapping thing. Ah, well, when you gotta go, you gotta go, eh?

I just hope the stench didn't cling to my clothes. Cuz smells can do that, you know. Eeeuuuwwww.

Okay, I guess I've lowered the tone here enough for one day. Later!

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

The Bonus Post

Just because you've all (all 3 of my adoring readers) waited so kindly and patiently (even if one of you did threaten me with doing some sort of penance, which is okay as long as it doesn't involve the dreaded Blue Drink), you get an extra post today.

So what's the deal with I mean, c'mon, I posted my resume a whole 30 minutes ago and haven't gotten one e-mail. Not even one, dammit! What's up with that? Maybe it's yahoo's fault. Maybe Yahoo wants me to stay at this temp gig for 2/3 of what I should be making. Although I don't really see how that would benefit Yahoo. I mean, if I got a decent perm gig I could potentially upgrade my Yahoo to an actual paying account, so you'd think they'd want those e-mails to come flying in, right? Hrmpf.

Yeah, I've decided I've got to bite the bullet and get out there and get myself one of those permanent type jobs that pay semi-monthly and have neat extras like health insurance and bonuses and pre-tax transportation accounts and retirement accounts and stock options. Okay, everything except the stock options part - c'mon, law firms don't have stocks! Silly people.

It's just become too easy to lollygag around this temp gig. It's easy work, they don't expect too much, don't really care when I come in or when I leave, and are thrilled when I perform anything with above average competence or take something one step further of my own volition. They let me play online as much as I want, put up with my silliness and weird sense of humor, let me wear pretty much anything (read: no suits). Where else am I gonna find all this? And why would I want to leave?

Oh, yeah, the money and benefits thingy. I almost forgot.

But I really, really, really hate interviewing. And to be honest, I don't think I'm much good at it. And this time around, I have to come up with some good fast talking about why I got fired twice in the space of a year without actually saying I got fired. And why there is a 3 month gap on the resume. And why my experience is all over the board (I prefer to think of it as broad experience in several different but related fields myself).

At least now I know what I'd like to be doing for about the next 2-3 years. Unfortunately it's the job I'm doing now. Maybe if I start going out on interviews and they realize I might actually leave they'll be motivated to get their asses in gear and hire me already.


PS - yes, I know that this bonus post doesn't give me leeway to ignore you for a month or so, don't worry, I'll be back. Really. I promise. ;-)

Promises, promises

Ha! I gotcha, didn't I?! You really thought I would keep my promise and blog weekly, didn't you?! Ha, ha, ha! The joke's on you, then, because I'm a notorious FLAKE. A big, fluffy, soft, cold snowflake. Or cornflake. Maybe that's a serial flake (but definitely not a dandruff flake).

There, now you know just a tiny bit more about me. That should keep you happy for a week or so, right? Right.