Oh, dear God, what have I done now?!

In the last few weeks, I've been re-establishing semi-regular contact with friends and acquaintances, trying to come out of my hermit crab shell. All good, right? Then I got a phone call last night from one friend with whom I previously worked telling me that a former/perhaps current/status as yet to be decided paramour of hers had just asked her if she knew of any litigation paralegals. Of course, she said yes and mentioned me. Then she called me immediately.

So this morning I tinkered a bit with the resume and sent it to her so she could forward it to him. (I would have preferred to send it to him myself, but I got the feeling she wanted it to go through her, so whatever.) She forwarded it to him, and then forwarded his response back to me, which said he had directed that I be called and interviewed ASAP.

So why is this scaring the shit out of me? This is what I wanted, right? A permanent job doing litigation work, still in this downtown area so my commute won't really change. Good money, more than I will have ever previously made. All benefits. Medium sized, casual atmosphere firm. This guy is the managing partner, the first name on the letterhead. He has the say. All I have to do is impress him. Or at least make him like me and want to take a chance on me. Because, to be quite honest, my work ethic over the past 4 years has been shit. I've missed a lot of days "sick", lollygagged around in the office, been fired twice. Thank God lawyers are so afraid of former employees suing them or I'd probably get crap references from 2 of them!

But really, why is this scaring me? I can't figure it out. Is it because I'll be leaving this cozy little underpaid easygoing nest? To be honest, I probably should, it's getting pretty boring, too. At least this new job would be in a new specialty while still in litigation.

I need help. I need interview help. Anybody want to send me Interviewing for Dummies?

PS - no word on the laptop yet. I think I'm going to call her Millicent, Millie for short. I hope she's salvageable.

PPS - And to think, one of the reasons I called up this friend last week is because I was thinking of one of her friends, whom we shall call Hot English Professor or HEP, for the perfect Fuck Buddy. Attractive, intelligent, not a kid, kind of kinky (writes what we refer to as "porn poetry" and actually gets it published), and completely turns me on in a way very few men have. We do already have a proven positive history. Must be the pheromones. Ah, well, I really need the job worse. I think . . .