Oh. My.

Well, I believe I'm becoming a texting convert, due in no small part to Irish Rugby Man who has taken texting naughty things to an art form. Quite fun to get graphic texts on the bus and text back saucy things, I must say. Now I know why people love texting so much! Naughty e-mails take a second to this. The only thing better would be a Crackberry, I think. Oh, dear, it really is a slippery slope!

In other news, he will be spending part of the weekend at my house, so I am crazily cleaning from top to bottom. I've been living like a bachelor in squalor for a couple of months now, so there's lots to be done, needless to say. I'm sure he wouldn't notice an elephant in the house; nevertheless, I feel the base need to prove myself a worthy homemaker, even though we all know I'm not. Why is that, I wonder? I mean, how much time are we really going to be spending outside the bedroom anyway?

IRM is seriously bringing out my debauched tastes. I feel comfortable being completely honest about it with him, too. I like it. I feel evil and sexy, true to my Scorpio self, if you believe in any of that.

This could get really fun.

Happy and scared

Is it really possible to feel both things at once? It must be, because I do.

Yes, I found a temp gig fairly quickly and have been there for some weeks. I'm learning a lot of new litigation technology that will help me move forward and the people are nice. There may be a possibility of getting on there permanently, so I'm just trying to kick ass and impress.

I'm still trying to get caught up on finances but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I've met the aforementioned new friends, re-connected with old friends, and am learning the social aspect of life in DC again.

And I've fallen hard for an Irish Rugby Man (this is the name my friends and I have given him) that I met back in January. Took things very slowly at first, just getting to know him as friends and afraid to show my interest because I was sure he wouldn't be interested in me. Fast forward to now and we've been spending quite a bit of time together. I finally got up the courage to express my interest after an indication from him that he had interest, and am happy that it's mutual. Finally he snogged me, then finally had a first date type thing last night that went extremely well. Can't keep our hands off each other and send naughty e-mails back and forth all day. I haven't felt like this in so many years, it's just so fantastic. Naturally, it'll end in tears, doesn't it always, but I'm just going to enjoy this right now.

I'm happy. Yeah, me. It's truly shocking.

PS - thanks for the kind comments, folks. They do help when I'm down. I'll try to be more regular in posting from now on. I know, promises, promises!

A real life

Yeah, I've wanted one for so long. And oddly enough, it looks like I have one again after years of being a hermit. All it took was a random afternoon stop in an Irish pub in Chinatown (how's that for a random dichotomy?) and now I have a dozen new friends and a new favorite, regular pub.

Damn shame I'm on a ramen and spaghetti diet. Along with all the Newcastle, I'm betting those 10 lbs. I lost are going to come back quickly.

Plus, my cell phone got stolen and now I have no way of contacting my Italian-Peruvian playtoy. This is a problem. What am I going to do for carnal sustenance?

Oops! I did it again!

No, I didn't show my cooch or shave my head or anything like that. I just managed to lose a job totally through no fault of my own.

Welcome to working as a temp for the US govt. Every time you try to do the things you were hired to do, you are hamstrung by govt regulations. When you advise the client on how things should be done, they tell you that they have made other strategic and policy decisions and it's going to be done THIS way.
So you think outside the box and you formulate appropriate control plans for THIS way and you implement them.
Meanwhile, budget meetings are going on that you have no knowledge of, but you're being assured that you're most likely to be taken on as a term contract employee = benefits. Huge.
So you work harder, even when outside counsel brings in much needed contract attorneys that you desperately needed and another paralegal.
And then you find out that your contract is terminated after you've trained everyone and brought them up to speed on complicated litigation.
At this point, you realize that you've trained your cheaper replacement and didn't even know it and life as you know it sucks.

Yeah, that would be me 4 weeks ago. With no savings in the bank. None. Check to check.

So I'm back out there working as a temp again but at a lower rate. I need more money and benefits. I need a real job. I CRAVE a real job. It's really interesting how much of yourself gets tied up in your job, and when it's gone, you kind of wonder, what about me? Where does that leave me?

I know I will come out of this, I know I will end up in an even better job just as I always do, but the in between is so soul-destroying. I just want to curl up in my bed and do nothing right now, but I can't. The cats need food, after all, and I'd rather they not eat my toes. I need them for balance.

PS - does anybody read this crap anymore? I don't blame you if you don't. I meant it as a place to put my thoughts and dreams, and silly ass notions. I'm not quite sure what it's turned into, but I do know that things tend to take on a life of their own, mostly guided by their audience. So, audience, if you have anything to say, please, do. I welcome it, even if you hate my tripe.