So this is what it feels like

To leave a job of my own volition. It's been so long, I'd forgotten how otherworldly it feels. The tiptoeing around colleagues, everyone afraid to say something wrong. The rush to tie up a thousand and one loose ends, knowing it all won't get done, but also knowing it doesn't really matter because someone else will inevitably come along and do it, just as you did when you got here. The anticipation in the air. And at the end of the day will also inevitably come the anti-climactic last walk through the door.

I will miss this place. When I first came here, the assignment was for a few weeks or so. That was almost a year ago. I kept turning up for work, and they kept signing off on my timesheets. I jokingly told them I'd just keep showing up until they told me not to. They never did.

I owe the people here a lot. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would not have even gotten that job interview if I hadn't been here almost a year and had this experience on my resume. I also know that I never would have found an area of law that I actually like, that keeps me engaged and interested. No, it's not always the most challenging of jobs, sometimes it's downright boring to file pieces of paper with numbers labelled on them in numerical order. Or to pull certain of those pieces of paper, copy them, then re-file them. But it is always busy, there's always more to do, and it fulfills my need to organize things, to compartmentalize things in different ways.

This place also gave me back a large measure of self-confidence that I was sorely lacking after having been canned from 2 jobs in a row. It doesn't matter how much I hated those jobs, or how much I know I could have done the work better than anyone, the fact remains that I didn't do the work and that those places had every right to fire me. I was not in a good place in my head, in my life, and perhaps those things needed to happen for me to kick my ass into gear. This place helped me do that, and allowed me to slowly, bit by bit, task by task, reassert the overachiever that lives inside.

I wish that I could stay here, and so do they, but for right now, it isn't to be. There is too much uncertainty with too many cases to guarantee the volume right now, but the powers that be have told me that there is some dead weight that will be getting jettisoned in the near future and they would welcome me back at any time. So I'll keep my foot in the door here and see what happens down the road. For now, it's just nice to be leaving somewhere on a good note again.

And for the future, I'm nervous. For one thing, they expect me to be there at 9 am every day. Seriously. I mean, isn't there a law against cruel and inhumane treatment? It's going to be a steep learning curve, that's for sure. A whole new area of specialty, and a much faster docketing system. It's also a much smaller office, both in terms of space and people, and I'll be in a cube so hiding will not be an option.

Which might make posting a wee bit more difficult, since Millie appears to have died. Tech support couldn't get the upgrade to Win 2000 to install, and now she is stripped. I've ordered Win 98 SE to put back on her, I figured I could spare $50 just to try, but the jury is out on whether that will work or not.

Wait, STOP!! Don't jump off that bridge just yet! I'll be back as soon as I can, probably during lunch times, and I'll be getting a nice, new laptop with my first humongous paycheck.

And now I've got to go finish up the tidying up of loose ends before I get too emotional . . .

Checks Cashed, Liquor, Beer, Wine, Lottery Tickets Sold Here!

Ah, another payday rolls around, but I have thus far held out admirably on my weekly shopping. I've only gone to the store up the block that's having a clearance sale, 50-75% off, and got 1 kind of sparkly, moss green blouse for going out, 1 purple and black tweed skirt, and 1 black and purple larger print wool blazer for $60! I rock at bargain shopping. Still giving serious thought to that rock bottom shopping blog . . . But anyway, thoughts of payday bring on another kind of thought for me.

All over this fine city in the, shall we say, less than middle class neighborhoods you will see storefronts with signs in neon in the front windows proclaiming to all and sundry: Checks Cashed! Liquor, Beer, Wine! Lottery Tickets Sold Here! Now, does this bother anyone else like it bothers me? Here's how it works: The people get their government/state/social security/welfare check. Okay, a few of them get a real paycheck if they are lucky enough, or not too fucking lazy, to have a real job. But they've been brought up in a culture that doesn't trust banks. See, the banks represent The Man. You can't give The Man your money, knowwhatImean? So they take their checks to these places to cash them instead of depositing them into a bank account like most people we know. Of course, everyone gets their checks at the same time, and they're all from around the 'hood, so they get to talking. And since they're all hanging out talking, why not just have a drink? So they buy some Liquor, Beer, Wine! And they hang out and drink. And drink some more. And then they think, Hey, I'm gonna get me some Lottery Tickets. And they spend more money from their check, which wasn't large to begin with. And guess what? Surprise, they don't win! So they buy some more Lottery Tickets. And they lose again. So they say, Fuck this! and buy some more liquor. And by the time they make it home, they might have a little money left for food, but where's the rent supposed to come from? Oh, yeah, they drank it and played the lottery. So they end up evicted and on the streets.

And we wonder why some segments of society just can't seem to get out of poverty? Why it's such a vicious cycle? Well, I see it all the time, played out right in front of me, a miniature, concentrated version of the socioeconomics of urban poverty in our city. It sucks.

These places should not be allowed to have all of these functions in one place. It's like they are dooming an entire segment of the population to generation after generation of poverty.

So to make myself feel better, I think after I pay our bills and rent, I'm going to get a new laptop. Because I can. Because I get direct deposit. Because it's better than spending it on Liquor, Beer, Wine! and Lottery Tickets Sold Here! And because I know that nothing but an accident of birth kept me from such a fate.

And for my next trick, watch me pull a NEW JOB out of my ass!

There's a hole in my pants! Well, it was a perfectly great day until I realized that. (yes, I recycled that title, but it makes me giggle, so deal with it. And I just like saying ass.)

Sorry I haven't been updating, but a lot has been going on in the last week, as some of you already know. So here's the scoop:

• That interview that happened last Friday went really super great. It's the first interview I ever really prepared for, and I think that really paid off. Plus, 2 of the people there actually know the tiny little rural place where I grew up, so I got brownie points for that. Also got extra points for being assertive and aggressive and even a bit arrogant, asking them why I should want to work for them.
• So I got the job and I start on 1 Feb. I tried to negotiate for more money than they offered, but wasn't able to get more. Hey, at least I tried. And in the end, I'm still making more money than I ever have before. Time to start planning some trips, methinks. And also . . .
• Time to buy a new-to-me laptop, too. I think Millie has to be put out to pasture. Not so thoroughly modern Millie, I guess. I'm still hoping she can be brought up to the late 20th century so The Cuz can use her at least. If anyone wants to give me recommendations on a new-to-me laptop, feel free. I'll be looking in the $400-500 range, although I'm really tempted to wait a few weeks and get a refurbished/returned/whatever Dell off their website. I'm just wondering if it's worth the higher cost to buy directly from Dell or any of the other companies over cheaper cost at a local used store or from eBay.
• The "healthy eating" thing was going really well. I'd say I was eating very well 95% of the time for the last 3 weeks. For a total weight gain of 1.5 lbs! What the fuck? I'm blaming it on bloating and PMS. Of course this made me pig out on chocolate stuff yesterday after the weekly weigh-in. Will resume healthy eating next week sometime.
• The Proactiv KILLED my face. Gah, it was horrible! Not only did it make it dry, red and flaky/scaly, but it actually irritated it so much that I ended up with MORE spots and even areas oozing clear cellular fluid that scabbed up. Really disgusting. So I gave my skin a break and I'm going back to my old routine from when I had perfect skin, back before I started neglecting it and drinking and smoking too much. It already feels better.
• I started going out again with one of my single friends here, the same one that got me the interview for my new job. She is trying to talk me into going to some singles events here in town. I figure what the hell, it can't be any worse than meeting randoms in bars, right? Look for reports here, I'm sure it will render some hilarious and scary events.
• I finally gave in and got a cheapie TV off craigslist for my bedroom. Okay, okay, it was more than I wanted to pay, but $40 for being able to laze in bed on a weekend morning and watch Animal Planet is a bargain, I say.
• I've been trying to take new pics of myself to update the one over there to the left, which results mainly in me feeling really foolish no matter whether I try to take them myself or The Cuz takes them. I will press on, though, because to be quite honest, I'm loving the new black of my hair. Plus, I re-shaped my eyebrows and I just know all 3 of you out there won't be able to sleep at night until you've seen them.

In other news, I think I've figured out the neighborhood. It all makes sense now. The plethora of churches, the abundance of funeral parlors, the barber shops and braiding salons in every other storefront . . . I finally got it. See, all the churches are there so the good people of the 'hood (like the Jesus freak neighbor) can go and pray they don't get killed. The funeral parlors - well, that's kind of self-explanatory, isn't it? And the barber shops and salons - hey, if you're gonna get killed, you might as well look good, right? Plus, you've got to look good to go to church and impress everybody else. Really, I'm shocked it took me this long to noodle it all out. So much for that genius IQ I supposedly have.

Oh, dear God, what have I done now?!

In the last few weeks, I've been re-establishing semi-regular contact with friends and acquaintances, trying to come out of my hermit crab shell. All good, right? Then I got a phone call last night from one friend with whom I previously worked telling me that a former/perhaps current/status as yet to be decided paramour of hers had just asked her if she knew of any litigation paralegals. Of course, she said yes and mentioned me. Then she called me immediately.

So this morning I tinkered a bit with the resume and sent it to her so she could forward it to him. (I would have preferred to send it to him myself, but I got the feeling she wanted it to go through her, so whatever.) She forwarded it to him, and then forwarded his response back to me, which said he had directed that I be called and interviewed ASAP.

So why is this scaring the shit out of me? This is what I wanted, right? A permanent job doing litigation work, still in this downtown area so my commute won't really change. Good money, more than I will have ever previously made. All benefits. Medium sized, casual atmosphere firm. This guy is the managing partner, the first name on the letterhead. He has the say. All I have to do is impress him. Or at least make him like me and want to take a chance on me. Because, to be quite honest, my work ethic over the past 4 years has been shit. I've missed a lot of days "sick", lollygagged around in the office, been fired twice. Thank God lawyers are so afraid of former employees suing them or I'd probably get crap references from 2 of them!

But really, why is this scaring me? I can't figure it out. Is it because I'll be leaving this cozy little underpaid easygoing nest? To be honest, I probably should, it's getting pretty boring, too. At least this new job would be in a new specialty while still in litigation.

I need help. I need interview help. Anybody want to send me Interviewing for Dummies?

PS - no word on the laptop yet. I think I'm going to call her Millicent, Millie for short. I hope she's salvageable.

PPS - And to think, one of the reasons I called up this friend last week is because I was thinking of one of her friends, whom we shall call Hot English Professor or HEP, for the perfect Fuck Buddy. Attractive, intelligent, not a kid, kind of kinky (writes what we refer to as "porn poetry" and actually gets it published), and completely turns me on in a way very few men have. We do already have a proven positive history. Must be the pheromones. Ah, well, I really need the job worse. I think . . .

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

I'd like to know what's going on in my neighborhood. In fact, I'd like to know just what kind of neighborhood I'm actually living in. Because just when I think I've got it all figured out, something happens to change my mind.

For example, just across the alley that runs behind our building is a car dealership lot. Naturally, there are many new cars on the lot, which is surrounded by a fence that gets locked each night. In addition to this security, and I imagine there is also electronic surveillance and security system, they also let loose two rather large German Shepherds each night. Occasionally The Cuz will hear the dogs going crazy, and we'll look out there to see degenerate teens joy riding around the parking lot after having hotwired the cars. This doesn't last too long because the police precinct is on the next block up, so they hightail it outta there pretty damn quick. This kind of activity doesn't bother me in the least. First, nobody in their right mind would ever steal my car, not even for parts. Second, the cops are, like, RIGHT THERE. So, whatever.

Then, a few weeks after we moved in, there was a shooting about 10 blocks away. Again, this didn't really bother me. It was drug and/or gang related, and neither The Cuz nor I are involved in any of that type of activity. Plus, this is a major city, crime happens, and sometimes it will happen near us, inevitably. So, again, whatever.

But then, last week, something strange happened when I was walking home from the bus. As I passed one of the buildings at the other end of the block, I heard a sound like a cap pistol would make, a very sharp, staccato sound, like when you throw caps on the ground when you're kids. Then I heard several clicks, followed by another sharp, staccato sound, then more clicks. I know I wasn't imagining this, because a gentleman walking towards me looked up at the building at the same time. I just walked on, minding my own business, if a little faster. I guess I figured if they were taking aim at my back and it was my time, then it was my time. And I told myself I was being stupid.

Until I got inside and The Cuz told me she'd been worried about me (I was later than usual) because approximately 20 minutes earlier she'd heard what sounded like gunshots from the opposite direction and she thought I'd be walking in from that direction instead. I didn't really think that much about it for the rest of the evening. I thought perhaps it was an old car backfiring. The cars in the neighborhood aren't all nice, late model Japanese jobs, after all.

But what The Cuz told me the next morning gave me the shivers. She said an ambulance had gone to the other end of the block, and when it had gone back by our building, she saw through the back windows that there was someone in a body bag in the back.

Now, it could just be that someone died of natural causes and it's a complete coincidence. Or maybe someone committed suicide. Or maybe, just maybe, someone really was shooting a gun up there. Who knows? Things like that don't always make the news here, especially if the victim isn't someone white and middle class.

And then The Cuz told me this morning that she heard 7, yes 7, gunshots out back in the alley at exactly 1:09 a.m.

To be honest, I don't really know what to think. My bedroom is situated such that it's like a well-insulated cave. I don't hear anything, really, unless the next door neighbors are fighting. I have no idea what goes on after I go to sleep.

So either I'm living in a relatively safe, up and coming neighborhood. Or I could get shot. Who knows?

PS - the crazy Jesus freak lady has started taking pictures of people late at night on the street getting into and out of cars. I'm not exactly sure what that's supposed to accomplish . . .

Obligatory payday shopping update

Of course, since I got paid today, that meant there was some shopping to be done. I give you today's update, because I know you just won't be able to sleep properly until I do:

• Cat stuff from Petsmart (because I forgot some stuff last week)
• Activated my spiffy new cell phone and put it on autopay
• Le Pink Ladies' Toolkit
• One sparkly shirt for engagement party (30% off)
• One pair of black leather gloves (desperately needed)
• One frilly "boa" type scarf, because it was half off with the gloves
• One black jet bead necklace (30% off)
• One pair black jet bead earrings (50% off)
• Two sets of the Proactiv 3-step system, one for me and one for The Cuz, because I'm really curious about it (if you order from QVC, you can actually get it for $19.95, which smart people like moi do)

Naturally, there is more shopping to be done tomorrow. Pier 1 is having a fantastic sale, and I need new dishes (due to random breakage), so I'm getting these gorgeous things. I also need some bathroom storage to go right outside the bathroom, so I think I need this 3-tier shelf. Believe it or not, I'm actually going INTO A STORE to get these! Shocking, I know. There is a Sephora trip in the making for replacements, and I'm even getting a cheapie tv ($20) tomorow for my bedroom thanks to craigslist. I might even stop by the Container Store and get one of those tension rod shower thingies if I have time before the Redskins kick Seattle's ass.

And I think that's about enough for one week, with the exception of groceries and hair color. Don't you?

Hmmmm, maybe I should just do a bargain shoppers blog. I kick ass at bargain shopping. Hmmmmm.

And now I'm off to take The Cuz out for dinner. I'm ashamed to say we're going to TGI Friday's, but really, I can't pass up a 3 course meal for $12.99. Especially not if it includes cheesecake.

Let's all play "Name That Laptop!"

Thanks to the ever tasteful and delightful Julia, I found myself in the middle of some really lovely dreams last night starring Freddie, myself and George Clooney. Seems George was in love with me, but then Freddie came along and swept me off my feet. George was, naturally, very sad, but c'mon, look at Freddie. Can you really blame me? I'll leave the rest of the dreams up to your pervtastic imaginations. Suffice to say I awoke in a very good mood.

Which was very good, considering I went to bed in a very foul mood. I had finally found a copy of Windows 2000, courtesy of Freecycle, and the very nice lady even threw in a real Office 2000 disc with serial numbers. So I went home in a very good, bouncy mood, all ready to play around with the puter some more. (I really should name the poor thing. Maybe it would work better then. I bet it would, it probably is miffed that I just keep calling it "puter". Wouldn't you be? Please deposit ideas for names in comments.) Well, it didn't quite work. I don't know why. I tried twice then gave up. Am. Not. Happy. But, I did have my new cute cell phone so I busied myself putting in all my numbers in the address book, which took quite a bit longer than I thought, which made me feel really good, because it meant I had more friends than I thought. The fact that many people have multiple entries for different locations does not bother me, I'm popular, dammit! Anyway, I brought the puter in to work today and the tech boys are working on it for me. No idea when I'm getting it back, so I figured I'd better post an update since I may not be able to again until Tuesday.

So I'm going to an engagement party tomorrow night. It's a spiffy occasion, cocktail dress, so I get a chance to wear sparkly, pretty things with bling. This is always a good thing for a girlie girl like me. The fact that most of the things I'll be wearing came from cut price stores doesn't bother me because they are SPARKLY! I love sparkly. But I digress. These two friends of mine have gone and gotten themselves engaged, to much amusement of others who know them. They are just perfect for each other, IF they don't drive each other around the bend any more than they do now. She's a bit crazy, and feeds his need for drama. He's a bit of a cad, which gives her the opportunity to go psycho, which feeds his need for drama. See how that works? It's a truly symbiotic dysfunctional relationship. I can almost guarantee you they'll get in a fight. I'd go so far as to lay bets that one of them will end up stomping out. Drama. *sigh* It's almost like having a real-life soap opera right there in front of you.

So why do I go to these things? Well, fresh meat. Maybe there'll be somebody single worth wasting more than 5 minutes talking to. And lately, I'm getting back in the mood where a nice, non-committal fuck buddy would suit my needs just fine. Maybe I'll find one there. In my sparkly pretty things.

Do guys like girls in sparkly pretty things?

Inadequacy

In spite of all my goals for this year, and prior accomplishments, I'm feeling a bit inadequate some days. I know we all do, and it's not that big a deal, but I thought a little self-indulgent whining about it might make me feel better.

See, I have these friends. Friends who blog. Friends who have deep thoughts about things like fashion and cinema as art and literature and politics. They can wax poetic about the last movie they saw or the latest ready to wear line or the fabulous new chef at that soon-to-be-trendy restaurant down the way.

But me? I'm really a simple, country girl for as urban and cosmopolitan as I think I am sometimes. Fashion? I like things that look pretty. Cinema? I like movies that are entertaining. Literature? I like a good story with interesting characters. Food/wine? If it tastes good, I'll eat it or drink it. That's about as in-depth as my thoughts get on those things. Which leaves me feeling fairly superficial today.

In other news, today is my 9th official day of not smoking. You read that right. Nine whole days with not one puff. The only time I really craved a cig was in celebration after my beloved Redskins win their wildcard playoff game Saturday night. Mornings I also want one with my coffee, but I think that was more of a habitual thing than an addiction. In fact, physically, it doesn't seem to have affected me at all. I think it was the habit of sitting still for long enough to smoke one (or 6) and having that time to contemplate that I really liked.

Also, since last Wednesday morning, I have lost a grand total of: (drum roll, please) a stunning 1.5 lbs. *sigh* It's a bit anticlimactic, especially since I've been forcing myself not to get addicted to the scale, but to be honest, I've been eating well, but eating a lot. And I cheated a couple times. And I'm sure that the massive bowl of chili with tons of beans I just ate (homemade by moi) doesn't help much. (Oh, shit, and I forgot I have a meeting this afternoon! Oops!) But, it's better than nothing, and I do feel much less bloated on a daily basis now.

Other boring stuff: I figured out what's wrong with the digicam. Nothing. I just have an operating system that's too old. Enter Freecycle where I requested an upgrade and am in touch with a few people so will have one by the weekend. That ought to be the digicam sorted, so I can start posting pics of random crap soon. 'Cuz I know you've all been waiting for that, all 3 of you. Also, Craigslist has provided me with a 19 inch tv for my bedroom for the low, low price of $25.

And finally, if you could spare a few positive thoughts, I'd appreciate it. Another cousin's youngest child went to the hospital yesterday and they think he had a stroke. The kid is only 4 years old! The latest information is that he responded to a touch on his foot. That's all I know. So, please, whatever you believe in, spare a kind thought for an innocent, sick child. Thanks muchly.

Editted: The dingbat from Craigslist sold the tv out from under me, the bitch.

And just to add: my deep thoughts are saved for things like the meaning of life, what will my legacy in this world be, and whether those shoes go with that outfit.

Who pissed in your cornflakes this morning?

Well, alright, it wasn't in my cornflakes, because I don't eat cornflakes or cereal at all right now, but it is not my idea of a good start to the day to wake up to the sound of someone pissing in the bathroom with the door open when the bathroom is RIGHT NEXT to my bedroom. And because I had been to the bathroom approximately 90 minutes earlier and had noticed that whoever had gone before me had not flushed, I knew that there was a man in the house because The Cuz never does that. Therefore, I extrapolated that there was a stranger pissing in my bathroom with the door open and that, yet again, he was not going to flush the toilet. Needless to say, this did not put me in a good mood at 5:45 am. So, not caring how bitchy I sounded, I got up, went into the kitchen, and said, "Whoever's in there, you better flush that toilet and for the love of God, please close the fucking door next time, would ya?!"

And then I proceeded to make coffee as a tall, muscular black man (very attractive, I must say) scuttled down the hall behind me through our galley kitchen to the Cuz's room with nothing but a little towel wrapped around him, looking suitably remonstrated. I have to admit that I did get a perverse sense of pleasure that he was embarrassed. I do wonder when he came over, though, because when I went to bed at 11:30 pm, he certainly wasn't there.

Now, maybe it's just me, maybe I'm just getting too old for this shit, but waking up with some strange man in the house just isn't on for me anymore. At least not when he wasn't with ME, goddammit!

The Life of Y

It can never be easy, can it? Finally got a digital camera, a cutie patootie little red one about the size and weight of a credit card, as a gift for Xmas. Only it didn't come with the photo software cd. So I call up the company and they kindly send me one out for free. Great! Receive said cd and set about installing it on home laptop. Fine. Follow instructions to a T, plug camera into USB slot and . . . nothing. It charges, but the photo software can't see the camera. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. I've deleted, uninstalled, reinstalled and done it all over again numerous times, and nothing works. Of course, it would be TOO EASY for the company's tech support line to be open on a weekend. Noooo, they're available from 8 am to 5 pm Monday-Friday. Fucking convenient, eh? Now they're bastards, naturally.

Strangely enough, when I installed the software and hooked up the camera here at work (yes, I'm stealing company internet and time, so fucking what?), it works perfectly. Therefore, I get to play with pictures today, and you get to see a picture of the most annoying, obnoxious, loveable furball ever, Buca, up there on the left, and the most beautiful and timid and funny cat, Shelby, up there on the right.

OK, so that worked. I feel so technically proficient now. (not)

Anyway, in my quest toward semi-adulthood, I actually went and had my eyes examined this morning and got fitted for contacts again. I haven't worn any contacts or eye correction at all in about 3 years because I just couldn't afford it. So it was very nice to go to a young optometrist who is familiar with my particular eye problems (basically, they're fucked) because she has some of them herself. She put me in the same type of contacts that she has, and even gave me a free trial pair that's close enough to my prescription to take with me while they order me my proper prescription free trial pair. Woohoo! I can see again!

Ugh. These pores are out of control - where did these damn craters come from?! Time to massively invest in toner, methinks. See, the problem with seeing again is actually SEEING again. Yuck!

And I'm getting a headache because I'm not used to wearing contacts and reading glasses again, and my eyes keep trying to strain and squint. This should be mucho fun.

Where was I? Oh, yes, the girl (she couldn't have been more than about 25) found me a brand of contacts that will actually fit my astigmatism (they have to be custom made because my eyes are so fucked) and they are 2 week disposables! No cleaning. No rubbing. No enzymes. No heat. And for far less than I used to pay for a year's supply. This is nothing short of amazing.

It's a wonderful life when you're able to afford to see again.

Verily, this adulthood thing sucks ass

It's payday! Yeehaw! You know what that means, right?

• Rent due: paid.
• Gas bill: paid.
• Metro card: paid for another 2 weeks.
• Grocery shopping tonight.

Yep, I'm living the high life now, I tell ya. I will admit to ordering some Gevalia "kaffe" (ain't I so sophisticated?) just to get the pretty free coffeemaker (stainless steel and black) because it matches our new kitchen.

And getting some things for the cats from a pet store online.

And perhaps even to getting a new cell phone with a new plan online. (It was cheap, honest, and I need something better than this crapass pre-paid shit and a cell phone that keeps randomly dialing if it's on in my purse.)

But in my defense, I did not:

• Order anything from Old Navy, one of my favorite stores ever for cheap clothes that actually fit these former athletic thighs
• Bid on anything at eBay, even though there are at least 4 vintage things that are really cheap and should belong to me, because nobody else will appreciate them as much
• Take advantage of the many free shipping offers I got in my e-mail box
• Buy anything from amazon, even though they have free shipping over $25

Now, tomorrow I'll be doing the aforementioned bra shopping at TJ Maxx (I know, I know, but it's cheap and I need them and I have a $50 gift card, so there), but I promise to stay within the card. Or within $10 of it. Maybe $25 over. And I just might have to stop by Payless Shoes because their fall/winter shoes are super cute, not at all what you expect for such a cheap crappy ghetto shoe store (no, seriously, I can walk to ours), and they're all on sale for, like, $10-20. And on the way home from there is an Army/Navy thrift store that I haven't seen yet, so it won't really hurt to browse just to see what's in there, right? Right? And even if I do happen to buy something, it's okay because it's a) cheap, and b) going to charity, right? Right, that's what I thought.

Hello, my name is Y, and I'm a shopaholic.

Playing with images

I'm really just playing with images, but this is one of the long Metrobuses that I ride each and every day. I love the long buses; they are all new, have cushy seats and lots of them, and have that nice lady recorded who tells you what stop is coming up next so that you don't have to keep interrupting your reading to see where you are. This is especially convenient when you've just moved to your new neighborhood and have no idea what's what.

BTW, can you tell I'm not wearing a bra today? My bras are getting mangled by the dryer, so I guess no more drying of the over the shoulder boulder holders. And that $50 TJ Maxx gift card is getting put to use Saturday, sadly on mostly bras, undies and hosiery. Ho hum. Maybe when I get new bras and get my new digital camera figured out, I'll post some cleavage shots for all the pervs.

And on that note, if you recommend one free photo hosting site over another, please leave a comment and tell me why. Thanks, and look forward to cute cat butt pics!

PS - I've been playing around today a bit more so you'll see a guestbook over there on the left. Go ahead and sign in and give me a piece of your mind. Go ahead. You know you want to!

"The Bitch Set Me Up" aka Only in DC

Politics is not something I really ever post about, either here or anywhere else. There are several reasons for this, the biggest one being that many of my fundamental political philosophies run contra to what most of my friends and the predominantly liberal internet community believe. But sometimes there are little things that I just can't let go by without commenting on.

One of those things is a local politician, Marion Barry, aka "Mayor for Life". It is such a joke that this guy, supposedly so intelligent, could let himself be caught on videotape smoking crack with a hooker (yeah, I know, the bitch set you up), get convicted, go to prison, then come out and get elected not only back to the city council, but as Mayor! Again! I'm telling you, the drugdealers and pimps in this town own this man and love him. He panders to them constantly. Oh, yeah, and then he got caught again after he got out. And now he's pled guilty to tax evasion. But he's back on city council, of course, from Ward 8, the poorest, most crime-ridden neighborhoods in the city.

So one can understand when we heard reports on the news that he had been armed at gunpoint, many of us were more than a little skeptical. Hmmm, let's see, he got blasted in the press a month ago when it leaked that he was trying to ruin the stadium deal that the city is negotiating with Major League Baseball so that we can have a team here again (after 30+ years, this town is beyond ecstatic to have a team again!). He needs sympathetic press. He reports that he's been armed at gunpoint. (Mind you, he's a stupid ass to let kids he doesn't know into his apartment, never mind flashing around money in front of them, in that area of town. If it did happen, he deserves it just for sheer stupidity.)

I'm sorry, I just don't buy it.

And I also think that the whole of the DC governing body (city council and mayor) is a joke. It just is. This city is one of the most poorly run cities anywhere. All I ask is that the streetlamps work so I don't have to walk home down a dark street, and that potholes won't ruin my damn tires.

On the other hand, I love that the license plates are so cheeky: Taxation Without Representation.

Don't get me wrong, I still love this city. Parts of it are so beautiful, almost European. Highrises don't exist. Lots of parks and squares and trees and green space. It makes me sad when I ride the bus to work every day and I see the poverty of some areas, the beautiful old buildings that are boarded up and empty, storefronts waiting for tenants with huge bars over the doors and windows, old signs never to be lit again. Parts of the city are coming back to life that have been dead since the race riots back in the 60s with fires that destroyed them. I do love the mixture of ethnicities, and the international feel.

But c'mon, DC, get your shit together. And residents, don't elect anymore crackheads! Just my $.02 for today.

Screw New Year's

I don't want a new year, I want a new life! However, it has come to my attention that we don't get those handed out to us (kind of like God wouldn't let me trade my trust fund in for my dad), so I suppose I'll have to do what any normal adult would do: whine a lot about mine. Either that or go out and make a new one. Actually, that seems like the better option in the long run, but I'm so damned lazy that, short-term, I'd really rather just bitch and moan.

Bitch. Moan.

Yeah, so that's that. I guess it's time to do the adult thing now, the good one. And to that end I actually kind of made resolutions this year. I didn't exactly start these on January 1; hell, I haven't even started a few of them yet. They're kind of all entertwined, so if I ramble, well, I ramble. Deal with it. Here they are, in case you care:

• I stopped smoking yesterday. This is probably the most important of them all. I don't like it anymore, I don't really enjoy it anymore. The sitting and relaxing, sure, I still like that, but not the taste or the smell or the act of it. It takes up between $4-5 a day, which is a lot of money in a year. The apartment smelt of stale smoke, and it got on my clothes and everything. Everything will now have to be washed again or dry-cleaned. Hopefully I can do something fun with that saved money, like get my TEFL certificate.
• No more drinking during the week. See, the thing about having some wine or beer or a mixed drink is it makes me want a smoke. So I have to cut this out, too, at least during the week. This also has the added benefits of saving me money, and along with the no smoking, improving my skin and whitening my teeth and helping me lose weight. Plus less garbage to take out. Because garbage is just annoying, but taking it out is even more annoying.
• Healthy eating, meaning no more white crap for a while. Meats, vegs, some fruits, some WHOLE grains, lots of water and no more sodas! No, not even diet. Well, maybe once a week or something, but certainly not the 5-6 I was going through in a day. Have you any idea how hard this is to do when you live with someone who eats more than any normal being should and gains no weight? Fucking annoying, that is!
• Must get moving. Need to bring my stairmaster thingie and hand weights up from the car. Must start doing something daily. This one is a work in progress, really. We'll (you know, me, myself and I) work on this one over the weekend when we
• Get the new apartment sorted finally. Too many boxes are piled up in the living room to set it up the way I want. Most of them are empty, but not all (I really need bookshelves, please help!). I also, as mentioned above, need to wash all my clothes to get the smoke stank out of them and get them organized so I can wear something more than the same 4 pairs of trousers and 6 assorted tops.
• Start volunteering. I really need to get that application filled out and get references. This is something I really, really want to do. No, don't get me wrong, don't worry, I haven't gone all altruistic on you. I'm really doing it for quite selfish reasons. I want to play with more animals. I'd like to hang out at the Zoo. If I decide to go in the direction of trying to work in zoos, this will give me the tiniest little sliver of a foot in the door - maybe like a pinky toe or something. Plus, they have miniature donkeys. C'mon, who could pass that up? They and the cows will more than make up for the ill-tempered pygmy goats and out of control children. I hope.
• Get my TEFL certificate so that I have another way to get the hell out of this country and work somewhere else.
• Get a real, full-time, permanent job. The kind with paid vacation, paid sick leave, paid personal days, medical insurance, retirement benefits, etc., etc. It's time. I've become too complacent.
• Sort out at least some of my financial mess. That's kind of where all that saving and real job stuff comes in.
• Take better care of myself. Pamper myself every now and then with manicures and pedicures. Maybe a facial or two. Whiten my teeth (not so much that I blind anyone, though!). Eat well, feel good about myself.
• Stop beating myself up about the past.
• Go to the appropriate doctors (eye exam on Monday, glasses and contacts first up on the list) and get my medical problems under control.
• Go out with friends and be social again. Hell, I might even start dating again, although if someone can remind me what that entails, I'd be eternally grateful.

In short, try to be normal again instead of a depressed, asexual hermit.

Now that I look at that list, it seems like an awful lot. The sad thing is, these are the things that normal people do, the things on this list. Where do you people find the time?